Squidward: A Life
by Magic24
Summary: A character study, detaling the life and times of Squidward Tentacles.
1. Introduction (Present, Part I)

Squidward's alarm clock woke him up at seven o'clock, as it always did on a Monday morning. He reluctantly lifted a tentacle and hit the snooze button. Five more minutes wouldn't hurt, would it? He had been in the middle of a wonderful dream as well, one where he was free of this boring, repetitive life and was pursuing the things that made him happy. Those things were music, painting, fine dining and living…the areas where success seemed to constantly elude him.

Yet again, his alarm went off, this time seemingly even louder than before. Groaning, he finally dragged himself out of bed and shut it off. His bedroom was large and empty, with a cold draft passing through every now and again, which was typical. He let out a yawn and walked over to one of his latest creations, a wood carving of himself that was unfinished. It would have to wait, of course, until he had some valuable free time to perfect it.

A few moments later, he was in the shower, turning on the water as hot as he could stand it and clearing his throat. This was as good a time as any to practice another one of his favorite pastimes, which was singing. He took in a deep breath of warm steam, and let out the opening note to one of his favorite operas. That is, until he was interrupted by someone who seemed to have mastered the art of interrupting him when he was enjoying himself.

Taking a peak through the nearest window, he scanned his front yard and the surrounding area. Sure enough, there was his endlessly annoying neighbor, Spongebob Squarepants, already making his way to work. Thankfully, he didn't seem to notice Squidward, and didn't even stop to offer his usual well wishes. Oh, of course. Since today was Monday, the yellow sponge was going to work even earlier than usual to scrub the tables, toilets, chairs, grill and cash register for free. He never once asked for overtime pay from their cheapskate boss, lest their jobs be in jeopardy. He probably assumed Squidward would be too busy to exchange pleasantries this early, though this had never stopped him before. Maybe that last time he yelled at the guy finally made a difference.

Soon Squidward would finish freshening up and would make his way downstairs to his kitchen. As he was preparing his oatmeal, the phone rang. In a complete and utter non-surprise, it was Spongebob, calling from a payphone to tell Squidward good morning, since he didn't want to bother him earlier. So instead, he decided to bother him later. Letting out a sigh, still too tired and groggy to get very angry, he hung up the phone without saying a word, and continued with his routine. He ate his usual oatmeal and toast, then put his dishes into the dishwasher. Looking at the clock, he saw that it was about time for him to step outside the door and walk to The Krusty Krab.

The walk to work was always pleasant, if unexceptional, which was more than he could say for other aspects of life. The park was always filled with children or old people playing chess, others flying kites or riding bikes. He quite enjoyed riding his bike, until got into an accident with it a year earlier. He tried crossing the street, but a car, thankfully not going very fast, ran into him. In typical Tentacles' fashion, he still suffered devastating injuries that he just very recently recovered from, but his bike somehow managed to be in even worse shape than him. It was one of the most painful moments of his life when he had to drop it off at the dump.

The weather was hot, as was to be expected in the middle of July. This time of the year meant more customers for the restaurant, with school being out, parents taking time off and families going on vacation. Why they would want to spend any of that time in a two-star establishment such as The Krusty Krab was something even his superior intellect could not comprehend, but that's how things worked. As for him, there was really no such thing as a vacation or time off usually, except for the usual major holidays (and even those weren't always guaranteed, depending on whether Mr. Krabs thought he had made enough money up to that point) and Sundays. Or whenever he accumulated so much leave that he had to be forced to take a day off for Krabs to avoid paying a penalty.

Fifteen minutes later, Squidward had finally arrived at The Krusty Krab. The place smelled clean, since Spongebob had already finished cleaning the place up. Correction: it smelled cleaner than usual, which was a step up from the usual stench of sweat and rotting meat. This place turned his stomach, but he would get used to it as the day wore on. Taking his usual place at the cash register, Squidward yawned and put on his hat from under the register. It was nearly time to open, and he could already see people lining up outside. It was still too early, why would anyone want a Krabby Patty this early in the morning? Who would want one? His question was answered when he saw Patrick pressing his face against the window to his right.

Suddenly, his boss came bursting out of his office, dollar signs practically visible in his eyes. He was carrying a sack full of money, and had a huge grin on his face. This was not unexpected, since he had announced a few days earlier that he would be making a trip to the bank to deposit the larger than expected profits he – they – had earned in the past week. This meant he had to leave for a little while, and Squidward was going to be in charge for the time being. The idea wasn't very appealing to him, since it didn't include extra pay or anything of the sort. Just a mere, useless title for him to carry until the real boss showed up again. Krabs always did seem to have some sort of trust and respect for him, but that also meant very little to Squidward since he personally couldn't stand the guy. But he put up with him for the sake of keeping a semblance of peace and quiet.

The Krusty Krab finally opened its doors to the large crowd, and they came stampeding in as they usually did. Squidward kept up with the frantic pace, pressing buttons on the register and giving orders to the fry cook without breaking a sweat. After years of working here, things like this were all second nature to him. Whether that was a good thing was a matter of opinion, as he would much rather have spent that time being somewhere else, doing something much more fulfilling. However, the fact that he was so efficient made the time pass by a bit quicker and made things a little less painful for him to endure.

The clock struck the hour, and it was now time for his lunch break. Squidward called out to Spongebob that he was going to eat in the new 'staff lounge' which was really the utility closet) to get a little bit of peace and quiet. He brought his lunch into the small, dark room and closed the door. There was only a small lightbulb on the ceiling, which he turned on by flicking the switch. He put his hands over his face, the monotony of the day was already starting to get to him. He had a few more hours after his lunch break before he could finally go home and relax, and yet time only seemed to move slower as the day wore on.

After finishing his sandwich and a few of his mother's famous cookies, he stood up and made his way back to his station. Unfortunately, he forgot to remind Spongebob for the millionth time how to run the register, so he shook his head as he watched the kid mashing buttons left and right, trying to ring up the orders. It was still lunch time for a lot of people, and the crowd was getting increasingly anxious. He shoved Spongebob to the side and barked at him to get back in the kitchen, while trying to make sense of the mess he had made with the register. It took a few moments, but things finally got back to normal and people were satisfied again.

Krabs showed up again, later than he usually did, mostly because his daughter was following him closely with an angry expression on her face. From what he could hear, the old man had "forgotten" to pay the electric bill again, and so an oh-so important conversation with her friend over the phone had been cut short. She had to run to the bank and pay the bill in person, using her father's money that he kept hidden under his mattress. Krabs had the audacity to get mad at his daughter, a mistake which he was still paying for and would likely continue to for the next couple of days.

A few feet away from him, Squidward heard a loud noise coming from his left. He turned around, and noticed that someone had accidently slipped and dropped their food onto the floor. Spongebob was busy in the kitchen, so it was up to him to go clean it up. The person who had fallen was perfectly fine, as he was a young man with a big smile even amid an embarrassing accident. Squidward found the mop in a small pantry in the back, and filled the bucket with soap and water. As he casually walked into the eating area, he could overhear a dozen conversations at once, all dreadfully uninteresting, ranging from what just happened to the latest hit song from their favorite singer.

Outside, the clouds began to form over Bikini Bottom, signaling that rain was coming soon. This bothered him slightly, since he had to walk to and from work every day, but it wasn't the first time this had happened recently. Since it was a relatively small town, a lot of folks took it upon themselves to walk to their destinations rather than drive a boat, so he wasn't alone in this case. The crowd that had filled the establishment was starting to thin out, with only a few patrons still sitting at their tables. As they finished up their meals, they pulled out their umbrellas and left.

After he was done closing the register and putting away his hat, Mr. Krabs called an impromptu meeting. Surprisingly, he offered great praise without once suggesting that they should work harder or more often. This was probably because he was so happy that business was booming, and had some extra stacks of cash he had yet to count at his house. Although, towards the end of his pep talk, the old man mentioned something about offering catering services to parties and other events, which did not meet well with Squidward. Spongebob was literally jumping for joy, and this was enough to force him to simply walk away before his boss could even finish speaking. Nobody noticed.

The walk home, you could say, was the opposite of this morning's. The once sunny sky was replaced by huge, gray clouds. The air was filled with a rather gentle rain that was occasionally made harsh by the constant gusts of wind. And there was not a soul to be seen on his way: the park was empty, with everything now dampened by the wet weather. Nobody would be silly enough to take a stroll through this storm. A person even pulled up next to Squidward in a boat, offering to give him a ride. He offered an unintelligible response, which the stranger took as a no, and went on his way.

Against the gray background, which was now occasionally illuminated by powerful lightning strikes, his house came into view. The rain was falling harder now, and it was beginning to bother him quite a bit. The sooner he got home and slipped into his pajamas, the better. He promptly ignored the pink starfish trying to fix the antenna on his rock, and went up to his front door. Stumbling a bit with his keys and grunting in frustration, he picked them up and unlocked it. Dripping wet, he glanced at the umbrella hanging from his coat rack that he neglected to take, believing that rain was an unlikely scenario for today. That's what he got for not watching the weather report on the nightly news yesterday.

He yawned and put on a pot of tea. He was a coffee person for a while, but the regular kind kept him up for most of the night, a job that was usually reserved for his depression. The decaf just didn't have the same strong taste he enjoyed so much. Early in his life tea was something his mother used to make quite often, and while he admittedly wasn't at making it, he loved buying all the different flavors the local stores had on their shelves. This one was jasmine, and when it was ready, he let the relaxing feeling flow throughout his body with each sip. After a couple of cups, he made himself a light dinner of salad and canned bread, and prepared for bed. He put on his pajamas and adjusted his skull cap, letting out a long yawn. The rain continued to fall outside as the night grew darker, hitting his windows with force, but he didn't mind. When he was inside, it didn't make much of a difference to him.

After setting his alarm, he got under the covers and fluffed his pillow. Laying his head against it, he turned off his lamp and closed his eyes. As he did, he could already see the same dreams forming against the darkness. The ones where everything was dynamic instead of monotonous, vibrant instead of aggressively dull. There visions of what could be were both a blessing and a curse. Seconds later, Squidward was asleep.


	2. His Name Was Green (Childhood, Part I)

On a spring day in a small suburb of Bikini Bottom, Squidward Tentacles was playing outside with the other little kids at school. He was only five years old, and this was his first year at school, not to mention being away from his parents for an extended amount of time. He was rather enjoying himself, climbing on the monkey bars, counting each one as he grabbed onto them. He was having so much fun, before he knew it, the teacher was calling for the children to come inside. As he reluctantly stopped playing and began running to his classroom, he noticed a jellyfish floating by the fence.

A green jellyfish! That was extremely rare around these parts. It was so unique in that it had one big dark spot on top, and it was a lot larger than the other jellyfish he had seen before. Squidward glanced ahead, and saw that no one had noticed his absence just yet. He rubbed his chin pensively for a moment, before smiling to himself. Just a little exploration wouldn't hurt, a bit of a deviation from the routine of school. Besides, if he got caught, he could just say he didn't hear the teacher calling him or something.

He tip-toed towards the creature, keeping his eyes locked on it as he did his best to stay quiet. Jellyfish would get startled quite easily if you surprised them, so this was of the utmost importance. Besides, he didn't want to hurt it or capture it, just play with it, perhaps make a new friend! He was only a few feet away, and the green jellyfish didn't seem to mind his presence so far. It had to sense he was nearby, so he stopped in his tracks and stared. It was even more impressive up close! He got a little scared when he saw electricity sparkle from underneath it. His mother always told him that seeing too much of that meant the jellyfish was getting angry, and Squidward knew they could sting.

But at that point, Squidward didn't feel threatened at all. In fact, he came up with a nickname for the creature. Green. Yes, so simple and hard to forget! There weren't any other green jellyfish, anyway, so he would always know which was his friend. There was a strong breeze, causing Green to take off in a hurry. Squidward wouldn't have hesitated to give chase, but Green was now outside of school grounds. To chase him, he would have to go through the back gate and follow him to wherever he was going. Likely that was Jellyfish Fields, but that was a long way from where he was. Who knows what route Green would take to get there, too.

There wasn't much time to think about all of this, and so Squidward found himself chasing after Green in the plains outside of the school. There wasn't anything to get in his way, not a tree, a plant, let alone any cars or people. They traveled in a straight line from where they started, Squidward laughing hysterically as the jellyfish seemed to get faster every few seconds, then slow down to let him catch up, before speeding up again. It was as if Green knew that he was playing with him, and that they really were friends! They continued for about ten minutes or so, before Squidward finally had to stop and rest for a while.

Something, however, was off. Squidward looked around him, then did so again, in disbelief. He was, quite literally, in the middle of nowhere. He couldn't see his school anymore, or any buildings in the distance. Even the sky looked to be a different shade of blue, the clouds looking less like flowers and like something he couldn't quite describe. The ground was now thick, deep sand. No wonder he had gotten so tired, running on this was a lot harder than the usual hard ground he was used to. Him and Green had to have been running for more than ten minutes. Right? Everything he knew seemed to so far away and yet it had only been a short while since he had started this adventure.

Squidward looked at Green, who had stopped as well, as if confused by Squidward's confusion. That confusion turned to worry, which immediately turned to panic. How would he get home? He had never, ever been by himself in this way. It was like one of those movies where the hero gets lost and must survive in the wild, hunting and fishing for food, hiding at night from the deadly creatures that wish to have him for dinner. To shield him from the bitter cold that overtook the outdoors when nightfall came. But he was no hero, and certainly not equipped as a young boy to survive very long in harsh conditions such as this. There weren't even any trees or ponds, or any animals in sight. Just a few shells and bunches of coral.

Green suddenly made a loud buzzing sound. Squidward was beginning to cry, but he wiped away his tears quickly as his friend appeared to want to tell him something. He shook his head, since he didn't speak whatever language Green spoke, but still stepped closer, signaling that he was listening if not understanding. The green jellyfish then lowered itself to the ground in curious fashion. Squidward hesitated, but knew what he wanted. Slowly, he sat down on top of Green, and patted him on the side to let him know he was ready to take off. It was scary at first, since the large jellyfish was flying higher than he had ever seen one go before. Sensing this, he made sure to travel slowly, to make sure Squidward didn't fall off or get any more nervous than he already was.

Of course, once he got his emotions in check, the big question on Squidward's mind was where in the world he was being taken to. He was already lost, and now he was flying, to who knows where? The ground below him was beginning to change. It was looking more like the ground he recognized from home. Perhaps Green knew where he lived and was just giving him a ride back to his parents? That couldn't be, he had never laid eyes on him before, at any point. Something else was going on here. Looking ahead, something magnificent came into view. It looked like a small hill, like the ones he liked to roll down at the park. No, it was getting bigger. Now there was grass below him, beautiful, green grass. The hill was now quite large. No, it wasn't just a hill. That was the famous Jellyfish Mountain.

The two friends circled the mountain, looking majestic against the grassy area of jellyfish fields and the setting sun in the background. There were small caves on the sides of it, where others would fly in and out, sometimes carrying small sticks or other unknown objects with them. The ground level had what looked like a small market, and even an area where the small jellyfish were gathered, listening to an elder tell a story around a campfire. The place where Squidward was being taken was the very top, getting a bit dizzy as the two ascended to the summit, where a few other colorful jellyfish were awaiting his arrival. They were just as striking in appearance as Green and just as big, if not more so. There was a deep red one, that reminded him of Valentine's Day hearts; a bright yellow one, that looked like the moon against the night sky; a purple one, whose vibrant color seemed to stand out the most. A slightly frailer, but dignified looking orange jellyfish stood a few feet away from the rest. He looked to be quite important, but he couldn't be sure yet.

Green landed on the summit, and the group formed a circle around a big campfire. Squidward sat in-between Green and Red (he decided to just start naming these jellyfish based on their color). His curiosity and sheer amazement at what was transpiring almost off-set the sense of dread he was still feeling deep down. What if they were deciding whether to kill him? Or had they already decided? And his poor parents were probably worried sick about him, having the cops turn the city upside down looking for their beloved son. Somehow, he felt like things were not so dire, but at the very least concerning and more than a bit confusing. Gathering up all the courage he could muster, Squidward walked to the middle of the circle and faced the group.

"What are you going to do with me? My friend, Green, he took me here, I'm very far away from home," said the young squid, "And I don't know what to say or do! We were just playing a game." There was no respond from the others. They just hovered slightly over the ground; if they had eyes, he imagined they were probably staring at him. Then, suddenly, Orange rose and motioned for Squidward to hop on his back. Growing tired of going for these sort of rides, he nonetheless complied. They flew over to the right side of the mountain, and into a rather dark cave. It was cold and damp, but soon lit up when Orange used the light from his electricity to illuminate the room. There were markings on the walls, hundreds of them. They were drawings, and symbols, some simple, others quite detailed and even graphic. He got the feeling that they were telling some sort of story and were not just random works of art.

Orange pointed with a tentacle to a drawing slightly above him. Squidward looked carefully at it, and realized that the story likely started there. In this one, he could make out a group of jellyfish that seemed to resemble the council he was just a part of. In the next one, there were a bunch of other, smaller jellyfish that strongly resembled the ones commonly seen around Bikini Bottom and the fields outside of it. In fact, upon closer inspection, there seemed to be dozens of them, spread out over a few feet of wall. Orange glided to the side so Squidward could look at the next group of drawings. Here, there seemed to be a depiction of a large city, populated by jellyfish who seemed to each share an occupation. Some seemed to be carrying food and water, others were building shelters, or were merchants selling things to the citizens. Amazingly, there were even some non-jellyfish people there, like the ones he knew in his neighborhood. And they were working together with the jellyfish, with crudely drawn smiles on their faces.

Squidward shook his head. "I don't get it, why is everything different now? Where is everyone?"

Orange buzzed quietly, sounding like he was giving him a sad sigh of resignation. He took Squidward to the far end of the cave, where a series of symbols caught his attention first. One was a cage, another was a bunch of circles…they were coins! Money. Then, there was something he immediately recognized: a jellyfish net. The drawings now showed the fish, crabs, squid and other sea creatures chasing the jellyfish around the mountain. They had expressions of anger, and hatred that contrasted with their earlier smiles. It was obvious to him now that the jellyfish had once gotten along with these people, then the relationship soured and they were then chased out of their homes. The final drawing showed a few jellyfish heading towards Jellyfish Mountain, while behind them laid a trail of wounded and dead companions. An arrow pointed upwards, where a city that appeared to be an early Bikini Bottom towered over the characters below.

"You were forced away from your homes by the Bikini Bottom-ites. They built over them, wanted to use you for slaves, out of greed. Is this what these are supposed to mean?" Squidward asked, his voice now more confident as he pieced together what he was seeing. Truth be told, he was a little angry as well, now that he knew the truth about why the jellyfish were so isolated from society.

Orange made spun around, and buzzed again, which meant 'yes'. This was a lot to take in at once, especially for someone so young. But there was still one more question that was burning in Squidward's mind. "If all of this is true, why bring me here?" As soon as he finished his question, he found himself moving from inside the cave, back to the top of the mountain. There, the others were waiting patiently, except for Green, who was hovering by the edge, away from the group. Squidward hopped off Orange, thanking him as he did so. Squidward quietly approached Green, a solemn expression on his face. "Green, I know the story of your people. It's very sad. I can understand why jellyfish don't want to be around others anymore. But I don't get why you took me here. Was it just to show me what happened?"

Green turned around, and picked up a small stick with his front tentacle. Slowly, he began writing something in the dirt. It was a very squiggly, barely legible 'no'.

A bit shocked that a jellyfish knew his language, Squidward bit his tongue from inquiring where he learned this. The next marking took a while to draw, but he waited patiently. It was almost like watching someone put together a jigsaw puzzle, trying to guess what it was going to be when it was finished. A minute passed, and he could finally make out what he was drawing. It was one of him chasing green, arms in the air and laughing. Then, right below it, 'frnd'.

"Frnd," Squidward muttered, attempting to pronounce it. It clicked. "Friend. You just wanted a friend, didn't you?" He put his arm on Green, resting his head against him. "You miss having friends that aren't jellyfish, so you took me here. And you want me to stay here with you, to become a part of your family." Green flew around excitedly, but then stopped suddenly. "What's the matter, buddy?" Squidward turned around, and saw that the other colorful jellyfish were now circling them. Somehow, he knew that it wasn't signaling any hostility, but it was a sort of initiation. He laughed and briefly joined in the circle as it moved back to the center of the summit.

"You guys are fun! I think I might like being here, it's so relaxing. We could be together all the time, and work together on stuff, go on adventures. I never do that with my parents…" He paused, and his mood changed suddenly. With a sad face, he reached into his pocket, and pulled out a picture of him and his parents. They were smiling, with his father carrying him on his shoulders. That was the day they went to Glove World on their vacation.

Squidward felt tears welling up in his eyes. Green got close to him, buzzing softly. "I'm so sorry, Green. I consider you my friend, and my companion, although we've only know each other for a short while. I think that this is a great place, and I'm so happy that all of you would trust me enough to let me live here. But I do miss my parents, and my first home, as well as my clarinet."

He stroked Green, and looked at the horizon, now barely lit up by the setting sun. The stars were visible, and The Milky Way looked brilliant in ways that could never be seen in the city. "As much as I want it to be," he said, his heart heavy, "It can't be." He hopped onto Green, and tapped his side. He didn't have to say anything else, as he knew exactly where he wanted to go. He waved goodbye to the beautiful jellyfish, and took one last look at the vibrant community he was leaving behind, knowing that he would never return.

The trip back home seemed to take a long time, and the brisk nighttime air was making him cold. Eventually, he could see Bikini Bottom again. Green flew quietly as to no draw attention to themselves, they he needn't have bothered. The streets were empty, with only a few lights on here and there in the buildings. A tumbleweed blew, a lost snail made his way down the sidewalk, but that was all. The two finally arrived in his front yard. Green lowered himself, and Squidward hopped off.

"Thank you." Squidward looked at the ground, then at the sky, then back at Green. "Will we ever see each other again?" There was no response, he knew the answer. Green had just wandered off, much like he did from his school. He had a home, and people who needed him, just like he did. But maybe, one day, on another otherwise average day, he might see a big, beautiful jellyfish making his appearance again. And maybe Squidward will play with him, and follow him to his home to visit. He could only imagine.

"Goodbye! I'll never forget you!"

Green was already ascending, and waved a tentacle at Squidward, making a sound that sounded like 'goodbye'. He turned around, but as he did, a stick fell from underneath him. It was the stick that he used to communicate with Squidward earlier, he had been carrying it this whole time to give to him as a gift. Then, he ascended once more, and disappeared into the night. Squidward picked up the stick, and looked back at where the jellyfish had been. "Friend..."

"Squidward! Oh, my goodness, there you are!" That was his mother's voice. She came rushing out the front door, with his father in tow. They were obviously relieved at finally find their son unharmed after what had surely been a stressful and worrisome day. As they hugged him, his father seemed to have something else on his mind.

"Son, where exactly have you been?"

His mother had an even better question. "And what on Earth was that thing that you were talking to? It looked like a giant jellyfish!"

Squidward gripped the stick tightly. "Green. His name was Green."


End file.
